We Feel So Empty

It's kinda sad around here with Mom Speirs gone. And you should see the pile of dirty dishes. Time to fire up the dishwasher, which Mom Speirs didn't think was necessary. She washed every dish by hand everyday, by herself. And every new situation seems to produce and old flashback. So last night as I slept back on my own side of the bed, with Amanda in Mom Speirs' former space which used to be the office, and Bob still on his brown chair; I kept thinking about how that's how this started. Bob sleeping in the living room because he didn't want to disturb me, way back last September-October. Until one night I was stunned with the severity of how his body and spirit had been invaded. I think it was my first witnessing of a scratch attack. Itching from the inside. It was the way Bob stared so blankly during the attack that scared me. A liver failure special. And I could no longer sleep in the back bedroom either. It's like I had to keep Bob close because I could see he was being pulled far away somewhere else. We should've asked The Friends for a spiritual housecleaning right then and there, but no coulda, woulda, shoulda's allowed.

So all last night, knowing Mom Speirs was gone, I kept hoping that it was really true that Bob has healed and that he was OK by himself in the living room. Usually, he and Mom Speirs would have late night chats, long after I went to sleep.

Mom Speirs likes to read that little devotional booklet called "Christ in Our Home." The other day she came across this: In our individual times of testing, one of the important ways that God is faithful is by sending to us persons who weep with us, pray with us, and encourage us.

Bob and I know this to be true.

We got word that when she arrived in Brooklyn, the twins wrapped around her in a Grandma sandwich and then she got to the business of giving them baths.

Meanwhile, the four of us ordered a pizza, pulled chairs around the kitchen table, and had a meal all together for the first time since, I don't know, last summer. It was nice.

Finally, I just thought that this self portrait of Aidan was cute. He took it just after the Ash Wednesday service at Christ Church on Capitol Hill.

Peace and joy to you, Friends.

With love, T