Friday, April 13, 2007

Pleasant Words are a Honeycomb

“Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the body.” Proverbs: 16:24

I don't know why it is so hard for the appointment people to pronounce my doctor's name. They say "Doctor ASS-fauw." It's actually a much more refined pronunciation, as in "Oss-faa." I'm not sure, but I think he's Ethiopian. He did his residency is New York City and Long Island. And I will admit to a blatant stereotype. I like him because I think he's from the continent of Africa. He is meticulous in his looks and in the way he speaks. He gives me time. . .doesn't just rush me with a bunch of information in the language of garbely goop. He seems to look and talk right into the center of my core.

"You'll be OK," he said. "I will walk with you through this."

That's what he said. I wished we had found a doctor like that early in Bob's liver expedition. And I found one right away!

So today at work, the lady from Northern Minnesota who requested a speaker from Lutheran World Relief for this October said the theme of their Women of the ELCA conference gathering is "Mind, Body, and Soul" using Proverbs 16:24 as a theme, "Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the body." And even before I saw my wonderful Dr. Asfaw today I decided that I would cling to this verse. The Bible's way of endorsing the power of positive thinking. I think that is the conference that I should speak at. Studies show that the simple act of smiling improves your health.

Even still, the very, very first thing you think is "Please God, whatever happens, please let the kids be OK." That's what you think when your doctor so exquisitely tells you that you have a slow moving cancer in your throat. The second thing you think is how exactly should your surgery be scheduled so that you can tag team with your husband's routine open heart surgery. For the kids' sake. The third thing you think is, wow, this is not advanced and aggressive, as far as you know anyway. And you say a prayer for people you know who are in that.

Dr. Asfaw says that the statistics are totally on my side. Statistics, along with honeycomb thinking and my new found spirituality compliments of Bob's diva liver, and hips-don't-lie-Shakira which I am listening to right now, will get me through this. It's like I don't want to make a huge deal out of this, but also don't want to lone ranger it. That's another lesson I took away from Bob's liver. We need people. We need eachother.

Truly, what I want, is for Bob to get a pastoral call in a really cool church. For us to move into a big house where we can have lots of guests. I want an awesome housewarming party with a mac-n-cheese bake-off and a ventriloquist and a magic show. I want to visit coffee farmers in Nicaragua and remember Oscar Romero in El Salvador. I want to visit chocolate farmers in Ghana and get a really colorful, very fancy dress in full West African dress with lots of jewelry. I want to take my kids to Guatemala to speak Spanish and snorkel. I want a European family vacation. I want to create LWR Hospitality and Learning Centers all over the world. I want to go to Jerusalem, Iran, Iraq, and Romania and see really, really old stuff. Stuff older than the millenium. I want to take an aqua blue cruise and not do a dog-gone thing except for sleep, eat, drink, and read. I want to live in a place where we can build a chicken coop in the back yard that looks like a Swiss Chalet. I want to visit the Rev. Deb in the Black Hills. And still, there are still so many people that I want to thank for getting us through the diva liver melodrama. There's just so much to do.

The fourth thing you think is, when your doctor says this to you, is who should you call. And what do you say. And drat, I'm just so bad with phone conversations, so I hope you will pretty please accept my apologies for reading about this on a cold, hard web page instead of hearing directly from me. Imagine that this blog is a very personal conversation with me. Because I really, really need you. And so does Bob.

Honestly, though, I'll tell you that I feel OK about this. Six months ago, maybe not. Today, yes, I'm OK. Kind of spiritual about it. I am still basking from the Bob Speirs Family Benefit and how people rallied around us in such a big way before, during, and after Bob's diva liver deliverance. Still believe that the power of love is bigger than everything else.

Gotta go, Amanda's trying to sleep and she says the keyboard noise is annoying.

With love, T

9 comments:

KK's Mom said...

Hello Terri,
First, I am so sorry to read this news. It isn't fair. So much in life doesn't seem to be fair and that is, well, just not fair! (I'm so eloquent, huh?) Second, you are a brave, strong, beautiful woman and I know that there will be many people right next to Dr. Asfaw - walking with you through this, whether it be in person or online. My thoughts and prayers are certainly with you. KK and I will be home the first weekend in May; perhaps we'll get lucky and get to see you. Until then, I send my love.((HUG))
Sharon
PS-I love the music on your blog!

Anonymous said...

Terri, you know better than anyone else that this is anything but a "cold, hard web page."

I am so, so, so, so, SO unbelievably shocked, saddened, angry... you know, Bob's liver wasn't fair. And him having to have open heart surgery on top of everything else is even more unfair. But this... all the appropriate words I can think of are explicit, and extremely inappropriate for this public forum.

And here's the thing- all of the people who rallied around a diva liver are still there. We're all waiting to take you up in our arms and carry you through this, in whatever way we can.

I hate cancer. ( insert string of expletives HERE). But I love you.

Sue-s said...

Alrighty then. Speaking as an editor-type, m'dear you buried your lead in the 6th paragraph. Speaking as a friend, HOLY CRAP! Have you had nagging symptoms? How long have you lived with this news?

OK. OK. Gird up the loins time. Check out 2 Corinithians 4:7-10.

Healing blessings on your head, heart, and throat,
Sue-s

Anonymous said...

Hi Sharon, Kattie, and Sue -- Wow, thanks so much for the words of encouragement and support. But of course, the worst of it is knowing that Sue is absolutely right in that my headline is in the sixth paragraph. Darn, I hate being wrong. ;-) Seriously, how cool is this to have such instant support. It really helps. I'm realizing that I didn't give a lotta detail, so I'll do that next. But really, there's not a lot to say. I have not pain or symptoms, what a blessing. My doc says it'll probably all go away after the surgery which I hope to have within the month. It was discovered during a routine exam. Well, anyway. Kattie, I'll see you in just over a week. Sharon, it would be awesome to meet you in May. Sue, sigh, I'm definitely looking forward to our next breakfast meeting. With lots of love, T P.S. Oh yeah, I just got the knews on Friday.

Sarah said...

Dear Terri

I am so sorry to read, on your warm and funny pages, about your thyroid cancer. Thyroid disorders run in my family and we are all careful to be checked often. Those I know (in family and out) who have had cancer have had a 100% recovery rate...and you are merely going to add to my statistical understanding of the disease.

I am here in Zambia, at a beautiful site outside of Lusaka. I'll send healing thoughts your way...and they will pick up the lovely Zambian sunshine and clean air to bring you the strength of the continent you love so much...

I will be in touch when I am back in the US, perhaps the calls will have calmed down a bit by then.

In the meantime, I want to steal your list for me, as all of it sounds lovely...and all worth planning for as you and Bob plan your joint surgeries and healing.

With much love and boundless optomism (sp? you know what I mean!)

love
Sarah

ps You will love K. Vonnegut...although a bit old now, still powerful.

Anonymous said...

wow. my prayers are ever with you and your family. I've been inspired by your story and want to thank you for sharing it. you are ever in my thoughts as I move out to the black hills to work at outlaw ranch. blessings always.
karen g.

Kristy said...

Wow, Terri. I'm so sorry to hear about your cancer! As mentioned by the others - how very unfair! We are all here for you and will pray for you and love you through this!

I was just complaining to a friend the other day about problems we're experiencing. She had such a great and simple response - 'God is saying, LOOK AT ME.' I know that you all are such good and faithful people. Look at God and let him carry you through. We love you guys!

Love,
Kristy Broers

Anonymous said...

Okay...so, when would be the best time for me to come? I am free...at the end of August. Does that work for you? This is just reeediculous! I HATE CANCER and have no better words for that nasty thing. I hate 95% recovery rate cancer just a smidgen less than all the other kinds. In the grand scheme of things, that's good news, right? :) The other good (maybe) news, is that I finally figured out how to post a comment on this page (I feel like a touch of a Luddite). Well, now that that's taken care of, I shall be in touch. Let me know about that Greyhound bus...I'm all for it. And my phone is horrid, so I can't call...must VISIT! YAY! Love and kisses, hi to Amanda and Aiden, Lani

Anonymous said...

OK -- Terri, this is unbelievable. But, you'll be pleased to know that your daughter who says very little about anything personal, shared your "cancer on her neck" story with Isabel today. I could not even believe it when Isabel told me. I began to say to my family, just how much more can the Speirs family take? But, I know you are strong and we (your electronic support group) are strong and we've already proven we can get through a very rare and odd allergic reaction through prayer. So, this "common" ailment that you have will be a piece of cake. I truly am sorry that you are dealing with this now. You are in my prayers. Love, Lisa