The Brave Mother Who Moved to Malaysia

This is Amanda and Catherine, whose mother is moving to Malaysia.

But since for me it's all about Bob's liver I have to tell you about the time that Bob gave Catherine's mother, Laura, driving lessons.

Laura's husband, Thomas, returned to Malaysia about one year ago when he finished his PhD. here at Luther Seminary. Laura still had a year of studies. In the rush of all the things to do before leaving a country, Thomas was not able to accompany Laura in her driving lessons and testing. So Bob took that over. One year ago, Bob and Laura were driving together everyday -- or should I say a little less everyday. Until one day I had to tell Laura that Bob could no longer drive with her because, well actually, Bob could no longer get out of bed. This was before we knew what was going on with Bob's liver. And you know the rest of the story.

Back then as we descended into anti-liver hell, we got a bright spot when we learned that Laura passed her driving test. And whenever I saw Laura, she told me that she and Thomas were praying over the phone for Bob's liver everyday. Because Thomas called her from Malaysia everyday. I would convey that information to Bob as he lay in casket position.

Anyway, so today Laura and Thomas' last daughter flew the coup. They have four daughters in various stages of university in four cities. Today, we took Catherine to college. We were actually quite honored to be asked to join in this event. Laura said that they needed family and they didn't have family. She asked us, Would you be our family?

Well holy cow, is that an honor or what? So of course, all eight of us -- me, Bob, Amanda, Aidan, and Mom Speirs; along with Laura, daughter #3, and daughter #4 -- packed into our duct tape colored vehicles and drove Catherine to college. We did the family picnic. Carried stuff up to her dorm room. Met the host family, as Catherine is considered an international student.

But here's the thing. Soon and very soon Mama Laura is returning home to Malaysia, leaving all four daughters here in the States. Between expense and visa hassles, she will not she her girls for a year or so. Can you imagine dropping your youngest daughter off for her freshman year and then moving exactly to the other side of the planet? I can't.

I went with Laura to the parent's meeting where they were advising parents how to "let go." They suggested that parents could take up a hobby or do something new. I whispered to Laura that she's got that covered. And what is Laura doing?

Pastor Laura and her pastor husband, are pastoring in their home country of Malaysia, as ethnic Chinese, Christians in a region of the world where the densest population of Muslims live. And how do you convert Muslims?

"You don't convert Muslims, you respect and seek to be respected," says Professor Charles Amjad Ali. "You build a relationship"

Lutheran World Relief has been doing this for decades, the interfaith respect thing. Wait a minute . . . how exactly did I get from Bob's liver to interfaith relations? Oh yes, leaving your last daughter.

Leaving your last daughter is like this. I looked out the window as Laura and Catherine held each other and said their goodbyes in Mandarin Chinese. By this time all the others had left.

Catherine went off to her next orientation. Laura and I sniffled all the way to the parking lot.

"I always tell myself that God is good," Laura said. "I never cried at any other time and now I cry when I leave my daughters."

I drove us home one-armed because Laura and I held hands the whole trip.

Me, I will not be moving to Malaysia when my kids go to university. I will be moving into the dorm room next to them. I will be a college administrator's nightmare. I will hover and protect them from all the bad people, grades, and decisions. On the day that my kids leave home, a day not so far away, I will remember this brave mother who set up her children to soar -- and then flew to another world to join her husband in creating peace.

With lots of love, T

P.S. Please pray for people who get clumped into stereotypes of, say, Christians, Muslims, Chinese, Liberal, Conservative, Word Alone, ELCA, LCMS. The more I talk to people, the more stories I hear about assumptions we make as we think we understand these groups. You really can't understand people until you listen to them. Please continue with me in prayer vigil for the the Broers' family.